Once upon a time there was a monkey and a turtle who had a fight.
The monkey said "I'll turn you over in the sunlight".
The turtle said, "Fine, I'll get a nice tan."
Then the monkey said, "No, I'll throw you in the air."
"Good," said the turtle. Then I can fly like a bird."
"No," shouted the monkey, "I'll throw you in the water."
"No, no," pleaded the turtle. "Please don't do that! I'll drown!" 
"Ha,ha" laughed the monkey as he threw the turtle in the river.
"Ha,ha" laughed the turtle as he swam to safety. 
"Swimming is the one thing I can do, dummy."